purple_stardust

Don't come in here, I warn you.
Please don't come inside.
It's not that you aren't welcome;
I just don't want to be the tour guide.

You want to get in my head,
Know the feelings stored on the shelf,
But it's dark and cold and lonely inside.
I don't want to be here myself.

Dark creatures scurry all around
From cracks and corners and holes,
Constantly whispering of impending doom
And searching for wayward souls.

Five scrawny punks are plugged in and turned up,
Singing songs filled with hate and fear.
The words you can't understand,
The message you can't help but hear.

There's a foul odor around here;
It's the stench of rotting dreams
And the soft ripping sound of a future
Coming apart at the seams.

There are a thousand screaming maniacs
Advocating death and delusion.
They wield vicious thoughts like axes
And add to the confusion.

A little girl cries for her mother;
She's lost and terrified.
She doesn't know how she got into this place
Or how to get back outside.

An angry young poet sits alone
Crying that he has no choice.
Long after his death, the walls will echo
The sound of his tear-soaked voice.

There's a shapeless mass in the shadows.
It has no eyes, no arms, no heart.
It has only teeth, and it wants my soul
To take it and maul it and rip it apart.

An old woman creeps by,
Mumbling her madness.
She was once filled with desire;
All that remains is her sadness.

Memories hang like cobwebs,
Although I can't quite see them there.
Still enough of them remains intact
To tangle and ensnare.

A lying drunk beckons me;
He wants to be my friend.
He'll show me through this labyrinth,
But he'll kill me at the end.

There is crying, laughing, moaning,
And loud pounding on one side.
Amidst the noise and mayhem,
There's no place left to hide.

There's a very high ledge in the dark,
Deadly, slick, and wet.
I've slipped and stumbled often,
But I haven't gone over... yet.

There are thieves and whores and artists,
Beggars and knights of seduction.
They all run amok and scream for attention,
Create chaos and self destruction.

So don't come in here, I warn you,
Because madmen run about
And despair lurks in the shadows,
And will not let you out.

-Mad Nessie, 1995

purple_stardust

So here I am, with my shiny new Live Journal. What to say. Hmmm. Well. I am Renee. I have very few interests, but many obsessions. My biggest obsession is rats. Yes, rats. I love them. I breed them. I kiss them on the lips. I also love cats, and other animals in general. I play video games. I like cheese. Someday, I would like to overthrow Wisconsin. I listen to David Bowie, The Cure, and Pink Floyd. I collect rubber ducks, Alice in Wonderland stuff, marbles and things that are round, and various other things. I like to read, but I never do. These topics, and many other equally fascinating subjects, are what I will write about in my Live Journal.

purple_stardust

You're the epitome of insane. Either you're very smart, or you're too damn stupid. The world is your playground, and everything -- and everyone -- in it is a toy for you to play with. People should be scared of you, but because you're so affable, they aren't. Tough for them.

purple_stardust

It is 1:40am, and I am still awake, and playing with the Live Journal.
This is all Laurie's fault. Also, I want an aquarium. Also Laurie's fault. =)

purple_stardust

A wonderfully lazy Saturday. I went shopping online and ordered a pair of purple and black stripey stockings from the Spooky Boutique, and now we're crashed out playing Lunar 2: Eternal Blue. Life is good. =)

purple_stardust

I'm not even sure if I'm bored or depressed. I am convinced that Rusty no longer finds me attractive. I feel trapped. I know I want more, but I'm not sure what. Every time I think I'm finally getting my shit together, I find out that I am sorely mistaken. Bah.

purple_stardust

Still here... I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new Siamese dumbo litter. Trixie is 21 days today, and the poor thing looks so miserable! I have put her in the maternity cage, and now we're waiting... and waiting... and waiting... This litter should be wonderful, both of the parents are SO sweet, especially my wonderful Sasha rat.

COME ON BABY RATLETS!!! =)

purple_stardust

Still no babies, dammit. I thought she was going to go into labour, but now she is up again, and wandering around. I am getting impatient, and I know she is getting uncomfortable. It is going to be a very long night.

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I finally gave up and went to bed at about 2am. I'm up now, still no babies. She does seem to have settled into one corner at this point, so I am hoping it will be soon.

purple_stardust

Trixiebelle is having babies RIGHT NOW! =)

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Well, I believe Trixiebelle is done having her babies. She is still cleaning them up and getting them all settled in, but I hope to lure her away later so that I can count them. What I've seen so far are so cute and tiny, and they're squeeking like mad in there! =)

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Oh Laurieee... where are yooouuuu??? Not only do I have babies to tell you about, I'm starting to worry about you out driving around in this weather! :-\

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Holy crap. As it turns out, there were *17* babies in Trixiebelle's litter! I need to go to the store now and buy her some extra hi-protien, hi-fat goodies. Wow. 17 ratlets! =)

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One of the babies didn't make it. It was much smaller than the others, and didn't have a milk belly when I found it. I know this happens, but I still feel awful for the little squirt. The remaining 16 seem healthy and full, so I am hoping they will all be fine.

It amazes me, when I look at that pile of squirming watermelon-coloured jellybeans, that someday they will turn into real rats. The little pink blobs with the funny translucent skin will be someday be another Sasha, or a Zackie Brown Nose, furry and strong and running amok. Simply amazing.

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I went to bed last night at about 1pm, and took my Atomic Purple Gameboy with me. Romantic, huh? I am playing Dragon Warrior 3, but I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do next, so I went back to the Pyramid to steal the Golden Claw. Now, the Claw is a great thing, and worth a lot of gold, but it is cursed, and once you steal it, you have to walk all the way back out of the pyramid, getting attacked at every step. What's more, you can't use magic in the pyramid! So I made my way down to the sarcophagus, got the Claw, and begin winding my way back, fighting mummies and shadowers at every step... and then, about halfway to the exit, I fell asleep! I woke up this morning and realised what I had done, and wanted to smack myself for going through all that only to fall asleep and lose it all. But! I went back and fished out the Gameboy from under the bed where it had fallen, and it was still on! Oh happy day! So I finished the journey and sold the Claw and saved my game and gave thanks to the Gaming Gods, wherever they may be. The moral of the story? Buy Energizer batteries - they keep going and going, even when I don't!

purple_stardust

Argh! Today was a long series of annoyances. I broke one of my Corning bowls. I didn't know you even *could* break them, but as it turns out, you can, and I did. More annoying, now the set is all messed up (4-piece setting for everything but bowls), so I'm going to have to replace the entire set. I had to go to three places to get my film developed; everyone's machine seemed to be broken today. I got a parking ticket, and I was only parked there for like, ten seconds - long enough to finally drop out the film! To top off an otherwise sucky day, another one of the babies died. I think maybe she is having a hard time feeding so many. =(

purple_stardust

And now for some good news! I was the high bidder on a pair of size 3 Converse Chuck Taylor hi-tops! Woo hoo! They're white, and I already have a white pair, so I thought I would save these to dye, whenever my purple ones finally collapse. There is a pair of black lo-tops going off in about an hour, I think I will try for those too. It's hard to find Chucks in size 3, I have to grab them when I can.

purple_stardust

Checked the babies this morning: so far, so good. The remaining 15 were pink and wiggley, as they should be. Trixiebelle got turkey breast with cottage cheese and apples for lunch. Life is good.

purple_stardust

Argh! Neopets is down for maintenence! Agony! I do not like the disruption in my routine. Every morning, I get up, smoke a cigarette, drink my coffee, and go through a daily routine with Neopets. I collect my interest, play Tombola, visit the shrine, grab some omelette... And now I can't, because Neopets is down. I can't even hang out at the Guild until it's up and running again, because the Guild is down too. This bites!

purple_stardust

My big boy Mason turns two years old today! He is a 2-pound black berkshire dumbo, and he loves me. He props his little "elbows" up on the cage door and gazes at me until I scritch his head, and then he grooms me. Ironically, I adopted him when nobody else wanted him, because supposedly he was aggressive. I have never seen any aggression, in fact, he is one of my sweetest rats! We will be having celebratory cake with fresh blueberries and whipped cream later. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASON!!!!!

purple_stardust

I need to lose weight. I used to be really skinny, and I liked it. I started gaining weight when Rusty and I got together, and now I have about 30 extra pounds that are a constant source of agony. I don't know what to do. When I was younger, I would take a lot of diet pills and just not eat. I need to do that now but -- I really like my junk food! Maybe I could do Papa Johns once per week if I din't eat the rest of the week. I also need to get back to Diet Pepsi. Coke was on sale for a long time, and I got back into the habit of buying that. Considering how much soda I drink every day, that's a big difference in calories! I also need to give up Sheetz Almond Amaretto cappachino - I swear you can *taste* the fat in this stuff. This is horrible. And exercise is out of the question - I would rather have root canal than do a sit-up. I am so screwed. =(

purple_stardust

I think I'm seriously going to go vegetarian, except for maybe fish and seafood. I am reading a post about eating rabbit meat on one of my lists, and it just made me sick. I started thinking about it, and now I'm thinking, if I wouldn't eat a bunny, why would I eat a cow? I rarely eat red meat, and I will miss my Mickey D burgers, but meat is just too fucking gross, when I think about what it IS.

purple_stardust

Welcome to Live Journal, Midnite Diva! =)

purple_stardust

The diet commences. I had white rice for dinner... oh, whee. It's actually not a bad thing to eat. I wonder if brown/wild rice would be any more nutricious or less fattening...? I guess it doesn't matter, I don't think the brown comes in Boil-in-Bag. Oh well. Tomorrow I am going to attempt to start drinking more water. Oy vey, what is this world coming to? Next thing you know, I'll have my stupid dusty AbSlide out of the closet. :-P

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Bored, bored, bored. I am so bored. Rusty had to work today, and now I have nobody to play with. I suppose I could do something productive, like clean my icky rat cages, but I want to PLAY. Saturday is play day, Sunday is clean cages day. Today is Saturday - I want to play!

My ex-husband just IMed me to ask if I was going to be using my sewing machine this weekend. Well, I haven't used it since 1995, it's unlikely that I would get a wild hair up my ass THIS weekend. So he's coming over to get it; his mother needs to sew her pants. God knows we can't have her walking around without pants.

And, hideous dieter that I am, I went ahead and got my cappachino this morning. I tried to fill it up with more black coffee than usual, so maybe it won't be so bad. Still, it IS a large styrofoam vessel of sugary fat, and I should not be drinking it.

Well, off to dig out the sewing machine. Whee.

purple_stardust

Brutus and Zorro are helping me play Lunar 2. Sasha wanted to help, but he kept peeing on the controller. This is what happens when your friends are rats. =)

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I want to get a digital camera this year. Unfortunately, I understand nothing about them, and I don't really want to. What I want is for somebody to say "here, get THIS one" and me to be able to use the damned thing. Laurie, any suggestions?

purple_stardust

Well, I fixed Rusty's dinner last night, which included chunks of cheese (sharp chedder and colby jack, sob), but I was good and didn't eat any of it. I had rice again, and even had two glasses of water yesterday! Whoo hoo! I haven't drank that much water since I was pregnant. I also used the stupid nasty AbSlide yesterday, and again this morning. I'm not sure I'm doing it right though, and I've lost the instructions. Still, I am trying. I guess I should buy another scale... if I'm going to all this agony to lose weight, it would be nice to know if it is working. Maybe this week.

purple_stardust

I checked the babies' genders and fur this morning. I have 8 boys (4 rex, 4 smooth) and 7 girls (2 rex, 5 smooth). 4 of them are rather runt-ish, so I've dyed their tails red so I can keep an eye on them and see how they grow in comparison to the others.

purple_stardust

Alright! Rat cages have been cleaned! I rearranged their cages and installed their new purple hammocks, and Rusty is vaccuuming up the three inches of Sanichips on the carpet now. I do believe it's time for some gaming! =)

purple_stardust

I fixed chicken drumsticks in apple juice for the rats this evening. Now they are passed out all over the place, fat and happy. I love my rats. :)

On a related note, I also love Sanichips! I was getting really pissed about the aspen shavings; they stick like burrs to my old carpeting and you can't vaccuum them up. We switched to Sanichips a few weeks ago, and they're great! Not only do they look nicer and more comfortable, but they vaccuum up! Must... get... more... Sanichips!

purple_stardust

I decided when I started this diet, that on ONE day per week, I could eat something fun and cheesey. I picked Sunday, because that is the day I clean rat cages, so it would be sort of like a reward, plus I'm too tired/lazy on Sunday to cook. Anyway. So this evening I had ten glorious, deliciously greasey mozzerella sticks from Anthony's. Yum! The good part is, I could have ordered something much worse; this seems like a lot, but it's actually pretty reasonable for me.

I also used the AbSlide today (3 minutes x 3 times) and drank THREE glasses of water. If this works, I am so getting my belly button pierced. =)

purple_stardust

Argh! I was doing so well, and then I ate two Hot Pockets for lunch. Unfortunately, I still have junk food around the house that needs to be used before I can really do this. My cappachino addiction is another problem, but I will work on that in time. Crap. On a brighter note, I am up to 50 "slides" with the AbSlide! I have done that three times so far today, will try for two more before bedtime. I am so sore, but that's good, at least I know it's doing *something* ...

purple_stardust

One of my babies is a runt. She is much tinier than the others, and I don't think she is developing quite as quickly as her siblings. We had them all out playing with them, and I pointed out the little girl's runtiness to Rusty, who took her away and told me to stop picking on her, and that HE would raise that one! Not bad for a guy who, two years ago, did NOT want pet rats! =)

purple_stardust

The war rages on. I have all but given up on the actual dieting, or at least the "eat only rice" part. Unfortunately, I have a cheese addiction, and I just can't do it. I am going to try to just eat less, and drink Diet Pepsi instead of regular Coke. Maybe I'll even try to eat an occasional veggie. *gag*

I continue to use the AbSlide. I'm up to 50 reps, 6 times per day. This damned thing better be doing SOMETHING, or I'm gonna have to get midevil on somebody's ass.

purple_stardust

They say that some people have addictive personalities. I am one of these people. If I smoke, I smoke too much. If I drink, I drink too much. If I eat, I eat too much. And I never would have thought it, but I have actually become a compulsive AbSlider. I will actually jump up and run over there and exercise, even if I am in the middle of something. It's bizarre. Don't get me wrong; it's GOOD. I *need* to do it, I *need* to lose this baby belly. But it's just so damned WEIRD. I HATE to exercise. My entire midsection is sore, and has been since I started this silliness. And still, I do it. I just hope this is accomplishing something more than misery and exhaustion.

purple_stardust

Well, they turned our cable off Monday; some crap about not paying the bill for three months - picky, picky, picky - so I went out and paid that today. Paid my THREE parking tickets. I even paid the electric and gas and phone bills - I'm on a roll! I got some film developed - baby human and baby ratlet pics. I even managed to exercise.

So now I'm home and bored and I need to go mess with my pictures in Photoshop but I really don't feel like doing that, and I have a ton of email to answer, but I don't feel like doing that either, and I have a pile of dishes that need to be washed but I *certainly* don't feel like doing THAT, so here I sit at my computer, doing nothing at all. Very productive. I wouldn't mind something to eat, but I'm not really in the mood for anything we have here.

I guess I could play Lunar 2 until the cable is turned back on; I want to get it finished so I can start DW7. I don't know what to do. I'm so bored.

purple_stardust

Still bored. Even more than bored. I am blah. Blah AND bored. Both. I am so blah that I can't even work up enough energy to get a glass of Diet Pepsi to break the monotony of the umpteen glasses of water I've had today, and I am so bored that I am looking at other peoples' journals and then their friends' journals and then their friends' journals, until I don't know who's journal I'm looking at but it certainly sounds like they're having more fun than I am. I have no friends. I have no life. I am BLAH.

purple_stardust

Ugh, what a day. I went to the supermarket, which I despise with burning, seething passion. I'm still on my weight loss kick, so I decided to buy some nice lo-cal veggies and stuff, eat healthy, all that rot. So I bought lettuce, tomatoes, baby carrots, raw potatoes, good stuff like that. Fresh veggies are so expensive!

I swear, there is a government conspiracy to kill us. They tell us to eat healthy foods, and then they charge ten times as much for them, so that we can't actually afford them. Why? Because they want us to grow up, get a job, pay taxes, and then drop dead before we're old enough to collect social security. Those bastards.

Anyway, then I went to the health food store (also too expensive) and bought soy nuts and dried fruits for the rats, and seseme sticks and Organics lip balm and Tom's of Maine toothpase for me. I had the misfortune to run into a woman who's kids I used to babysit. She talked to me, and I hate it when people do that. She works there now, which means I'm gonna have to find another health food store. She isn't a bad person, she's just *really* weird, and I don't like talking to people that I know.

And finally, I went to Software Etc. and bought the Prima guide for DW7 and yet *another* lighted cover for my Atomic Purple Gameboy. I think this is my third. I don't know what I do to them, but I go though 'em. Oh cool, and it came with batteries! Oh, and I also got another controller for my Sega Genesis. I go through those, too.

And my cable is back on! Life is good. =)

purple_stardust

I'm eating salad: iceburg lettuce, tomatoes, cumcumbers, and baby carrots with fat-free catalina and a slice of rye bread. Obviously, hell has frozen over.

purple_stardust

Well, I have been totally convinced lately that Rusty isn't "in love" with me, and doesn't find me attractive anymore. We had a long talk this evening though, and I feel a lot better about our relationship. This is the one man that I've ever known who hasn't bored me after six months, the only man to even come close to understanding me, the only one to ever be a challenge... I hope we can be happy together.

purple_stardust

It's snowing like crazy here. We've gotten our coffee and cigarettes for the weekend, and now we've settled in to play Lunar 2. As much as I hate snow, I DO like the prospect of a whole weekend with nothing to do but play video games. :)

purple_stardust

Weird mood. Wondering where I would be if I'd done things differently. I do that a lot. I'm not even sure I would want to be somewhere else in the grand scheme of things, but still I wonder. I love Lloyd Cole but he does bad things to my head.

purple_stardust

Another wonderful day to do absolutely nothing, which, as luck would have it, is my favourite thing to do! I need to take pictures of my ratlets (two weeks old today!), but after that, it's laying on the floor and finishing up Lunar 2 for me!

At least, I *hope* we'll be able to finish Lunar 2... we're having some trouble. We're to the final part, the showdown in Petagulia. The first part is a maze that leads to a Goddess Tower. This is the part we're having trouble with. The monsters in the maze are nasty (and fast, hard to run), and you need to use magic to kill them. The problem is, we're running out of magic before we can reach the Goddess Tower. If we could make it to the GT, we could heal and save, and go on to battle the Fake Althena, and life would be good. But we keep running out of magic. Argh.

purple_stardust

Dammit! I want to play Lunar 2, but Pittsburgh is playing Baltimore in the play-offs today, so of course we must watch that first. Argh! Oh well, at least Pittsburgh is winning. Still, I would rather be slaying monsters.

purple_stardust

Well, I never did get around to playing Lunar 2, and now we're watching the Golden Globe Awards. We watch a lot of awards shows, and I don't know why. We don't watch any of the shows that win (Sopranos, Sex in the City, West Wing), and we've never even heard of the nominated movies. Speaking of Sex in the City, I would just like to point out that Sarah Jessica Parker is about the ugliest damn woman I've ever seen. Egad, she's homely.

purple_stardust

I just took a personality test (http://www.haleonline.com/psych/) that is supposed to be like a condensed version of the Myers-Briggs test. This is what it said about me:

INTP (Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving)

You're on a quest for logical purity...you're motivated to examine universal truths and principles...always asking "Why?" and "Why not?"...can focus with great intensity on your interests...you appreciate elegance and efficiency in thought processes and demand it in your communication...

You might appear low key in appearance and approach, you're hard as nails when challenging a truth...you don't like to deal with the obvious...at your best when developing unusual or complex ideas...you can be an under- achieving but very capable student...if you don't like a rule, you're quick to challenge it and find flaws in it -- this could make you somewhat of a rebel...if you like the rule, though, you have a respect for it and go along with it...

A relentless learner in areas that hold your interest...you might seem "lost in thought" to others...you tend to connect unrelated thoughts...you would rather be the architect of a plan than the implementer of it...you need a private, quiet workplace that allows for flexible independence... would rather organize ideas than people....

You tend to stay away from traditional leadership roles, and would rather lead with your ideas...you don't get emotionally involved, but rather tend to follow logical reasoning.....leisure has two dimensions to you: first, you like to concentrate and reflect on conceptual matters -- second, you like to take risks in the external world (like skydiving?)...

You like to read, think, watch TV, play with computers..(and post on the Storm Palace message bases).. sometimes you'd rather do these types of things than hang around other people...you don't necessarily like "best sellers" or "must see" movies because you don't trust people's opinion on what's "popular" and would rather make a value judgment for yourself....

Love, for you, has three distinct phases: falling in, staying in, and getting out. falling in love is a loss of rationality for you, and you fall HARD...an all or nothing phenomenon....

The "staying in love" phase is where you start to evaluate the relation- ship's structure and form. You may withdraw at this point because you're moving toward your most customary inward style and nature. A lot of the open affection stops....the giddy state changes... The "falling out of love" part (which doesn't always happen) results from an analysis of the real expectations of the realationship and needs of the relationship. Often an undefined line is crossed that neither of you knew about in advance. However, if you end it, you'll keep the relationship going as a friend in some capacity if you have a reason....

Pitfalls: don't focus too much on the inconsistencies of others...try being friendly and showing appreciation of others...being competent is very important to you, and you could be too hard on yourself....don't let your emotions take control -- you could have outbursts or appear hypersensitive...

purple_stardust

I'm almost done Lunar 2... we fought the Fake Althenea and now we're at Zophar's Keep but we haven't made it through the dungeon yet. Still, we're *almost* there... I want to play it NOW, but Rusty wanted to watch some silly-ass Alien movie. I don't know yet if I'm going to bother with the epilogue or just move on to DW7.

And my ratlets have EYEBALLS!!!!! =)

purple_stardust

There is another breeder that I've had a working relationship with for over a year. She has never been to my home, and I would prefer to keep it that way, as she tends to be hyper-critical. Not only am I fairly certain that my home and rattery wouldn't be "up to snuff" by her standards, I have an overwhelming social phobia.

However, lately she has been saying she would like to come visit, and implying that she is offended that I haven't invited her. I haven't asked her, because I don't want her here. The thought of having her here literally makes me feel sick. She seems to think I should invite her because we have a friendly relationship; I feel like it would be going to my dentist's home. I am happy with our professional relationship, I don't want her to be a friend. So far, I have been able to stall her and make excuses.

The problem is, we need to meet soon, and so she has basically invited herself here this weekend, and I would look like an asshole if I said she couldn't come. I know I don't have to let her, but as the breeding community is so small, I really can't afford to piss her off. I don't know what to do, and I feel really sick on my stomach.

purple_stardust

I actually have a headache from worrying about what to do about this breeder coming to my house. I really don't need "friends" who make me sick.

I wish Rusty would come home from work soon; I really want to play Lunar 2 for a while. I feel an overwhelming desire to kill things.

purple_stardust

Well, we made it through the dungeon, and the first battle with Zophar. And then we got killed in the next-to-last battle. Dammit. I'll have to go back and try it again later; fortunately I saved *after* the annoying dungeon part.

First, I must fix dinner. Rusty is having meat, which of course is ever so appealing to me now that I don't eat meat. I'm having cheese on Jewish rye. Close enough, I guess. I haven't exercised since Friday, because I've had a wicked case of cramps. Blah.

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Oooh, look where we're going Febuary 2: the World of Pets Expo!

purple_stardust

My lo black Chucks came in the mail today, hooray! They didn't come with laces, so I had to use the ones from my Tretorns, and now I need new laces for them. I should have measured these laces when they were out of the shoe, because I never know what length to get. Oh well.

In other news, I HATE ZOPHAR. I have tried three times to beat that bastard, and he wipes us out every time. I don't know why - my party is a level higher than what the walkthrough recommends. I'm starting to get really annoyed with this damn game.

I need to go take new pictures of my ratlets.

purple_stardust

Rusty is having pasta and meatballs. I am having American cheese on Jewish rye and a salad. Oh, whee. Somebody stop me before I have too much fun. :-P

purple_stardust

Zophar is dead! Dead! Dead! DEAD!

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One thing I really don't like about the Lunar series: NO EGRESS. Now that Zophar is dead, I'm starting on the epilogue. Unfortunately, it requires going back to places from early in the game, and I can't find most of them now. Argh! I may not even bother with the epilogue; it looks like it's pretty complex, and I really want to move on to DW7. I would tell myself that I'll finish it later, but I know as soon as I quit for a day or so, that will never happen. Ahh, what to do, what to do.

What to do, indeed. The weekend approaches rapidly, and I still haven't made any definate decision about what to do about the other breeder visiting. Much as I hate the idea, I guess the only way to get her to stop nagging me is to let her come. Bah.

purple_stardust

SHE is coming to my house tomorrow, I grudgingly said okay. I already feel sick. I actually bought a bottle of wine, so hopefully I don't just sit around and freak out all evening. I wanted quaaludes, but the supermarket didn't have any. Ugh. Maybe I'll get lucky and get hit by a bus tomorrow morning.

purple_stardust

Ya know, I used to drink a fifth of vodka per day. Now, one glass of wine, and I feel all loopy. Blech. Obviously, I am getting old.

purple_stardust

Had an arguement with Rusty. I asked him to vaccuum. He grumbled and whined, and then did so. Then he complains about the breeder coming here and says "there's no place for her to even sit down." I pointed out the sofa that inhabits our living room. He wildly gestures at it and points out that it is covered with crap. I come over to more closely examine the "crap". There are seven aspen shavings on the sofa. I counted. Seven aspen shavings now constitutes "covered with crap". Hello! I have more aspen than that in my HAIR at any given time.

Then he begins to bitch that the apartment is a pig sty. Fine. He may have a point. Then he points out that he can't have his parents (who live four hours away) over, because they would be "horrified." Fine. THEN he says, he can't believe that MY mother visits us, because we go to her house, and her house is clean and orderly. To which I reply "well, fortunately, MY mother doesn't judge people based on their housekeeping skills. I'm sorry that YOUR mother does!"

He has kept his mouth shut since then, fortunately for him.

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SHE will be here in five hours. Rusty already went out and got my coffee, so I've got no hope of getting hit by a truck. Damn him. The rat cages have been cleaned, and the floor vaccuumed. I'm not even worried about my cages; I know they are cleaner and less-crowded than hers. Both Rusty and another breeder say her rat room stinks. My cages are immaculate, but the apartment is a mess. Bah.

My babies are so cute, climbing all over their cage. They're turning into real rats. *sniff* When I open the door, they all come running over and climb into my hand; so cute. MY babies are well-socialised. Rusty thinks she's jealous; because she used to be the "queen rat breeder" in this area, and now people want my rats. And I have to say, my rats ARE better than hers, but it's just luck as far as the lines, and that I spend more time with them. I spend *a lot* of time with my babies.

I don't know, I'm just babbling now.

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[Amazing - Aerosmith]

I kept the right ones out, and let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life when I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through the pain

When I lost my grip and I hit the floor
I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door...
I was so sick n' tired of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
Oh... It's amazing
A when the moment arrives
That you know you'll be alright

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[I Try - Macy Gray]

Games, changes and fears, when will they go from here
When will they stop?
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together... but we're not
I play it off but I'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

purple_stardust

She finally left. Will write later; I have a migraine.

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The throbbing migraine has dissapated into a dull headache, and at this point, I'm just grateful to be able to sit up and open my eyes.

The visit. I had a headache when she got here, which got progressively worse. She stayed here for three and a half hours, despite the fact that I spent the last hour of the visit sitting here with my eyes closed, and occasionally leaving the room to throw up. I'm not sure which of us was more rude; me, for ignoring her the whole time, or her, for not getting a clue.

Other than that, it wasn't a bad visit, she played with my rats and admired my cages. She brought me a lab rat - I want to name him Sigmund, but I keep calling him Alphie.

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Blah, Monday. Between the visit Saturday, and the football playoffs Sunday, I played no video games this weekend. What good is a weekend, if I play no video games???

I am a bit confused about DW3. I have all my characters up to level 20, and we're at Dharma Temple, where I can change classes. I have changed my thief to a fighter, and I have found the Zen Book. The question is, what do I do with my mage and my cleric? Do I turn them both into sages now, or should I make them something else first? I do not know. I don't even know if I can turn them BOTH into sages with one Zen Book. And I don't know if I should turn my thief/fighter into something else when he gets up to level 20 again. Perhaps I should turn them all into jesters. :-P

I need to walk over and drop off some film, but I am feeling rather trifling today.

purple_stardust

Thanks to Laurie, I can now change my comments links! Which, no doubt, I will do several times per day. Customizable FUN! Thanks Laurie! =)

purple_stardust

I dropped my film off at the 1-hour place. Waiting now. I hate waiting. I also hate the girl who works at the 1-hour place. The last time I went in, she asked me "ya like rats?" Okay, first, this is a stupid question. I just paid way too much to have an entire roll of film developed in an hour with nothing but photos of rats. If I didn't like rats, would I take a roll of film of nothing but rats? And if I did, for whatever bizarre reason, would I want them back in an hour? So then she says "you got a boa constrictor?" When I gave her the Look of Sure and Sudden Doom, she says "well, some people do, you know, raise rats for snake food." And do they photograph them? Entire rolls of film, no less? Every week? Feh, what a twit.

But it's either this, or go to the mall. I can't wait to get a digital camera.

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Good Lord, Laurie... whatever you do, do not click HERE.

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I hate Adobe Acrobat, and it pisses me off that at some point, I *have* to download the damned thing to see something. I don't know why it bugs me so much, but it does, to the point that once I see whatever it is, I'll uninstall it again. Bah!

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I'm playing with Adobe Photoshop today, making a rattie valentine picture. I love Photoshop. I'm also trying to get my scrapbook stuff and photos organised, but alas, that is not so fun. AND I am working on an origami rat. Whee!

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I am sooooo sleepy. I stayed up late last night, updating my website and playing video games, and now I am paying the price. *yawn*

I have my scrapbook stuff strewn all over my living room floor, where I've started to organise it and then got bored and irritated, and ultimately left it. I need to go to Target and get some sort of small storage thingies, so I can straighten out my sissors, punches, pens, etcetera. This is my problem: anything worth doing, is worthy of my complete and total obsession.

I also need some sensible way to store photos until I get them into the scrapbook... as it is now, I have 2 computer paper boxes, one cd-burner box, 2 photo boxes, 1 shoe box, and 4 gift bags full of photos. None of them are sorted according to anything, of course. Maybe I'll stop at the craft store this weekend and get about 15 of those pretty photo boxes. Of course, I need more like 50. Ack. I take way too many photos.

purple_stardust

I am sooooo sleepy. I stayed up late last night, talking to Laurie and playing video games, and now I am paying the price. *yawn*

Hmmm, I seem to be making a habit of this. Oh well. We had an enlightening discussion about serial killers, human experimentation, and rat penises, and afterwards I played DW3, so I guess that's worth a little bleariness today.

Now I need to go work on my photo and valentine cards, and maybe, if I'm very productive (ha!), get some of these photos sorted and arranged. I really need to work on my website, and do my remembrance and original rat pages, but I'm not sure how I want to do them, and so I am doing nothing at all. Bah.

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Wow! I actually finished my original M-Rats page! I still need to make a page for my retired breeders and a "In Remembrance" page, but then I think I will actually have my website caught up! Woo hoo!

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Today I compressed photos of my rats, marked them, uploaded them, made four new pages for my website, and updated three others. My website is actually up-to-date! All of my rats are accounted for and on the proper pages. Amazing! Look!

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Nothing much happening today; I'm working on my Classic RPGs group.

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ARGH. A guy on my Classic RPG group uploaded a translated version of Dragon Quest 6. Fun, right? WRONG. I downloaded the file. It wouldn't open; Winzip said it was corrupted. I downloaded the same freakin' file from the same freakin' place, and Winzip opened it just fine. Life should be good, right? WRONG. It won't play in Zsnes; I get a blank screen. I download Snes9x - it shows the game perfectly, but my controller won't work with that emulator. I download a newer version of Zsnes, and oh, guess what? I need a newer version of DirectX. ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLAY THE DAMNED DRAGON QUEST 6!!! Is that too much to ask??? It must be. Fuck this; I'm going to bed. :(

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I wish Sheetz delivered coffee. I need to go get dressed, but I need coffee, and I can't go get coffee if I'm not dressed. It is a never-ending circle of caffiene-deprived hell.

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We went to the Pet Expo today and met up with Sandy; that was fun. We got to meet Skip Martin and bought another travel cage, as well as treats and toys for the cats, rats, and dogs. I also bought a blue Raggy Rat for myself! They had a lot of different breeds of dogs there, and also a small petting zoo, apacas and a ton of reptiles.

The North American Rat and Mouse Club International even had a booth there! I picked up a pamphlet about an upcoming show; it will be held at the Greater Philadelphia Pet Expo on March 9. I think we will probably be going to that too.

After that, we drove down to Baltimore and walked around the Inner Harbour for a while. It was a chilly day for it, but the water was beautiful and we got to watch the boats and the seagulls. It was a fun day! :)

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My blue variberk girl ZBR Beatrix has just lost her virginity. My little baby is growing up.

*sniff*

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I borrowed a stud from Sandy - his name is RRR Snow, and he is a mismarked BEW (really blue). I put him in with ZBR Beatrix last night, and they mated well over a dozen times! She appeared to have a plug this morning, so I am betting on a blue litter in about three weeks! I have really high hopes for this litter. Bea is the calmest young female rat I've ever seen; she's such a sweetheart. Because of Snow's whitespotting, I should get some nice markings from this litter too; variberk, varigated, capped or masked, maybe even BEW. Some dumbo, some rex. I'm so excited! =)

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I HATE ASPEN!!! I had switched to Sani-Chips, but I ran out, and had to use aspen. My carpet is covered with aspen. My pants are covered with aspen. It clings like burrs, and it's pointy and pokey too. I hate aspen. :-{

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What a great mail day! I got the latest issue of the RMFE magazine (with a basic genetics review, no less!) and my purple and black stripey stockings, hooray!

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Rusty keeps moving my rubber duckies, and I don't know why. I have a king duckie and a jester duckie on the second shelf in my bathroom. I bought a sailor duckie in Baltimore, and put him on the third shelf. Three times now, Rusty has moved him up with the king and jester duckies. I don't know if he thinks the duck will be lonely, or if he's trying to make me crazy, or what.

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It is SO cold tonight; I hate it. I wanted to stay up and play Dragon Warrior 3 (I'm looking for orbs), but I think I'll just go to bed where it's warm. Winter sucks. :(

purple_stardust

You Are Tangerine

You are a beautiful person, in a wistful kind of way. If you could, you would spend all your time daydreaming and writing poetry. You are a tragic beauty.

You are sensitive and caring, and you don't take insults well. You don't smile much, but when you do, you really mean it.

People like to be around you because you are a calming influence. You have an appreciation for all things beautiful, and you probably have some potted plants. You also most likely own a cat.

You like Sundays and hot tea. You will spend your entire life yearning for quiet beauty, which is a rarity in this world, so you read a lot.

Everyone you know thinks you're "nice."

purple_stardust

Argh. I already have ten rats reserved from my blue litter, not counting the ones that *I* want to keep! I am thinking about re-breeding Boris and Bella, so I'll have enough.

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I'm playing Dragon Warrior 3 over AIM with a guy from my Classic RPGs group. He's helping me find the Echo Flute, hooray! I love Dragon Warrior 3.

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I need to go to the supermarket, and I would rather eat my own spleen. :{

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Ugh. Rusty is sick. Him has an upset tummy. I want to kill him. I don't deal well with sick people to begin with, but it is *particularly* annoying to watch a 40-year-old man whine and carry on over a measley upset stomach. You'd think he had malaria, at least. I'd like to take him to the vet and have him put out of my misery. Freakin' candy ass.

purple_stardust

His Wimpiness has finally gone to bed. Good damn thing for him, too. I think I will be sleeping on the sofa tonight, so as not to interupt his tortured moaning. *eyeroll*

So, what to do now? Nick-at-Nite is showing some 'Kids Say the Darned Things' crap. I have three kids; I know what they say. None of it is particularly fascinating. 'West Wing' is on; it bugs me too. Ah-ha! ABC is showing 'The Job' - I do like Dennis Leary; he's such an asshole. A real fucking asshole.

I should play DW3. Tim isn't online, so I have no one to play with though. Actually, NOBODY is online. Maybe it was something I said...? I am totally alone, here.

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Argh! Okay, is it just me, or can no one else see the "read comments" link? I know for a fact that my last entry has five comments, but I can't see them on the entry! I have to copy http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?itemid=22730175 and change the "talkpost.bml" part to "readpost.bml" to see them! It's that way in Laurie's journal too; I've commented and it doesn't show it, no matter how many times I refresh the page.

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I want a new computer. Mine still works, but it is old, and tired. So I've been looking at Dell and Gateway all evening. Dell has pretty black computers, but they seem really expensive. I can build exactly what I want at Gateway for $1200; that is a Pentium 4; 256 RAM, 40 GIG HD, CDRW, with a printer and a 17" monitor. . . *swoon*

purple_stardust

I was just looking at how my rat code has grown over the last (almost) two years.

Here was my first:

RC(0.1) 5m B-- C-- D++ F N S! O1c2d OCCT a+
<:3)~~Ziggy <:3)~~Benny <:3)~~Mumford <:3)~~Mango <:3)~~Manderin

And here it is now:

---Renee and the Ziggabella Rattery Rats <:8 )---
---RC 12m12f7r B2 C+ D+ F N+ S! O2c2d OCU? a+ <:8 )---
---( 8:> www.ziggabella.com | ziggabella@yahoo.com <:8 )---
---( 8:> AIM username - Ziggabella 2001 <:8 )---

That isn't counting my two Siamese babies that I'm keeping from Trixie's litter, or the black hooded rat that I have reserved from Kathleen. They're like crack, I tell you!

purple_stardust

Argh! I was playing Dragon Warrior 3 in bed last night, and I had just gotten my thief/fighter/dealer up a level and defeated a metaly, which are worth A LOT of experience points - when my battery pack when dead. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

purple_stardust

1-Slime | 2-Raven | 3-Hornyhare | 4-Anteater | 5-Butterfly
6-Froggore | 7-Babble | 8-Magician | 9-StingWasp | 10-Healer
11-Echidna | 12-Almiraj | 13-VenomToad | 14-Catapila | 15-Manabat
16-PutrePup | 17-KillerBee | 18-ArmyCrab | 19-GasCloud | 20-BigShroom
21-VenomWorm | 22-MadRaven | 23-MadHound | 24-ToadStool | 25-Shadower
26-Vampire | 27-Carnimoth | 28-RogueNite | 29-CatFly | 30-KingToad
31-WildApe | 32-TrickBag | 33-MummyMan | 34-HellCrab | 35-Druid
36-Flamapede | 37-Mummy | 38-DeadStool | 39-HunterFly | 40-DeadHound
41-Mystifier | 42-HeatCloud | 43-Antbear | 45-MadOx | 46-Catula
48-KillerApe | 51-Goategon | 53-Demonite | 54-Deranger | 55-Cannibox
57-GreatBeak | 58-Snaily | 59-SkyDragon | 63-HellArmor | 64-SeaSlime
65-JellyFish | 66-Merman | 73-Bighorn | 76-BlueBeak | 79-LavaMan
80-Shaman | 155-Rare Kandar

purple_stardust

Ugh. I woke up late this morning. I ran outside (in my bare feet, even) to feed the meter, but it was too late; I had already gotten a parking ticket. I came back in and started doing all the stuff I do in the morning, and stepped (still in bare feet) in a huge pile of cat barf. Fetched the paper towels while cursing and hopping on one foot. Cleaned up cat carf while gagging and heaving - unfortunately, I have a very weak stomach when it comes to barf. My daughter's diaper has exploded, as Luvs brand seems to do a lot. They don't leak, but they explode. Now there is pee-saturated gel everywhere. Note to self: stop buying Luvs. Rusty went and got me a cup of coffee, but he sloshed it all over the lid, so it is sticky and yucky. This is my day so far. It isn't even 10 AM yet and I really think I should just go back to bed.

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I should be making graphics for the Classic RPGs group website, but I'm not.

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I am such a worthless shit. There are a dozen other things I should be doing: laundry, making graphics for the new website, vaccuuming, cleaning cages, even answering some of the email that I have piling up - but no, here I still am, messing with LJ.

purple_stardust

I have to point out, I am getting no more ambitious as the day wears on. And now I'm listening to Pearl Jam, which is putting me in a funky mood, as it always does.

purple_stardust

I'm listening to Simon and Garfunkel to counteract the weird effects that Pearl Jam was having on my head. I don't know what my problem is, but I'm *thisclose* to being in a funk, and Pearl Jam was NOT helping. And besides. I love Artie's teeth. :)

And I still haven't done anything useful.

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Dammit. I need to go fix some dinner, and I really don't feel like it. I didn't get any TV dinners for myself, so I actually have to fix tuna salad. It's way too much like cooking for my taste. Why can't I afford to have delivery every night???

I delivered two baby rat girls to their new owner last night. She was great, and was really excited to be getting them. She emailed me this morning to say that she loved them, so that made me happy. I may not know much about genetics yet, but I do socialise my babies well. :)

I have played no video games today. WHY??? I would blame it on Rusty, who has been hogging the Playstation all day with his stupid college football game, but that doesn't keep me from playing my Gameboy! But instead, I have been on the damned computer all day. I swear, this thing is like The Borg; it just sucks me in and assimilates my brain. Resistance is futile.

And now, I would like to try my first .

Did it work?

purple_stardust

Yay, I fixed my dinner! I added a bit too much mayo, but close enough. Does anyone else put mustard in their tuna salad? I do. Not only is it tasty, but it gives off an unhealthy yellow tint, which encourages other people to stay out of my food. =)

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Tim and I are playing Dragon Warrior 3 via AIM. The damned Boss Troll (the fake king in Samanao) keeps kicking my ass! Stupid fake king. ::: mumble, mumble :::

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madnessie

I am black. I want a new purple username. I would settle for green, or blue.

([font size=5 color=yourusername]yourusername[/font] - replace [] with <>)

purple_stardust

Must.. clean... cages! Argh.

purple_stardust

The hardest thing about pesco-vegetarianism is the small stuff. I don't mind not eating steak or porkchops, because I never ate that nastiness to begin with. It's the little things, like gravy and such, that I miss. They don't make fish gravy - what am I supposed to put on my mashed potatoes?

On a brighter note, I want to buy a food dehydrator. Joell recommended one from Ronson; it has five trays. The website says you can make dried fruit (for the rats), homemade yogurt (for the rats), and even fish jerky (for me)!

purple_stardust

I'm freezing! I don't know if it's that cold today or if it's just me, but I'm sitting here wrapped up in a blanket and I'm still cold! Fortunately I have Brutus here to keep me warm. He is such a great rat; I can't wait to breed him.

Speaking of which, six of the Siamese babies should be going to new homes next Saturday; four to Vicki, one to Sandy, and one to another girl in DC named Anna. There is also a girl in Annapolis who reserved two of them, but I haven't heard from her lately, so I don't know if she still wants hers or not. I guess I need to email her again. Bah.

Off to battle the stupid fake king again...

purple_stardust

The stupid fake king is dead! DEAD! DEAD!

And I got the Change Staff, traded it for the Pirate Bone, and found the Luv Memory. Then I promoted my thief/fighter/dealer to warrior and leveled everyone up. As soon as I talk to Tim, I need to get him to tell me (again) where Olivia Cape is.